In the Spirit of Gandhi

July 3rd, 2006

Many thoughts ran in my head the second day of my fast to stop war (nuclear and conventional) forever on this planet and to convert money that is now put into the militaries of the world into building ecological cities.

The first day of the fast, I was feeling weak in spirit. I was depressed because I thought “who cares if I fast or not? It isn’t that I have a name that counts for much.” What good can a no-name faster like me do? I was not in a financial position to go to Washington, DC for the last supper in front of the White House. Feeling disconnected, alone, and even rejected from the peace and environmental movements, there were moments that I thought I should forget the fast and move ahead with my life.

But what is my life? My life has been devoted to advancing the idea of Lovolution, the evolution of revolution; a non-violent spiritual movement for social freedom and economic justice; fusion of erotic energies for world peace; the collective action of love. Isn’t the fast lovolution?

What lead me to hold on to solidarity was that I believe there is an invisible web of human goodness. Being part of the fast even though I wasn’t able to be present in DC connected me in a psychic way to all the other fasters. So I moved from feeling depressed and disempowered to feeling empowerment as if I was part of the birth of a spiritual global democracy in the making. Even though within the left-wing media I am voiceless, my hunger fast represents the voiceless who are suffering from living in an oppressive form of developmental pattern, the so-called “American Dream.”

I also realized that part of my depression was chemical. I was withdrawing from my several times a week Starbucks chai tea. It is an addiction I am not proud of, so the fast was working to purify my soul from spending my money on a luxury item that I don’t need.

After doing an Internet search on fasting and famous fasters, I got high from reading about Gandhi and Bobby Sands. Gandhi’s longest fast was 21 days. Bobby Sands died for his cause after he fasted for 66 days. Last month, following the South Central Urban Farm in LA protest where Julia Butterfly fasted for 26 days, I knew I needed to push forward with my commitment. I reflected on a beautiful quote when she said, “The vision of the world we want to see doesn’t exist out there. It exists in who we are being every moment of every day. It’s not a future thing. It’s right here, right now. That’s how the world we want comes to life.” Why I am fasting is to help create that non-violent peaceful, green world.

July 4th

July 4th my partner, Wayne Sumstine, joined the fast. He urged me to join him on a short trip to Mount Lemon to get away from the 4th of July fireworks in Tucson and the heat from the city. Both of us feel patriotism is a fatal disease. Not only did we agree that the war in Iraq was wrong, but that the entire foundation of American culture is deadly wrong. Its utopian vision of basing a society on equality has never happened as the poor in this country get poorer and the rich continue to destroy the landscape by building McMansions behind gated communities.

The bulldozing of the South Central Farm in LA epitomizes what is so wrong with American culture. The organic farm that fed poor families was destroyed because the owner wanted to make more money by building a warehouse. Why couldn’t he see the virtue of the farm?

Heading up the Catalina Mountains my spirit became rejuvenated especially after hearing a radio report by Margot Adler “Behind the Ever-Expanding American Dream.” She looks into why houses are getting bigger and bigger. Houses of the rich are so big now that each family member never has to see each other. The children have their own TVs. Some screens are even in bathrooms.

Alder interviewed John Stilgoe, a professor of landscape history at Harvard University. He said that what is happening in the “Big House,” is that people who are living in these McMansions don’t learn to compromise. They get everything they want when they want it. They are living in an unreal bubble. John Hasey, president of the Peconic Land Trust, said “the “Big House” is all about the American lifestyle: how we live, what we drive, and how we fail to appreciate the finite nature of land and energy resources.”

Hearing this report reconfirmed part of the reason I am fasting, to bring attention to the fact that our balance of nature is being destroy by our car dependent, oil addicted lifestyle. If we want to bring an end to war, we have to change the way we build our cities if, and this is the BIG if, if we can enlighten the American public to a better dream, a dream that will make the entire planet happy by giving us profound creative meaning to our lives.



After finding a camp site in the Coronado National Forest, we set up a tent. We could tell that other people had been camping around there. There were toilet paper, beer tops and other trash. We even saw part of a used rubber. This was one of the clearest sites. There is no place that isn’t affected by humanity lack of consciousness. We have fowled up the nest.

Making it through the night was a challenge since a rain storm came. From the tent, we moved into the truck. What a hard, sleepless, hungry night it was thinking about the fast and how much I loved the fasters. The image I saw on the Internet of Cindy Sheehan and Ann Wright taking their last supper on the sidewalk in front of the White House was burned into my memory. What noble women. What an honor it would be to dine with them, but George Bush has refused to even talk with them.

The American government is a kakistocracy, government by the worst people. We won’t be free until the women who are dining on the pavement outside the White House are in the White House planning out a transformation of the American economy into building a network of arcologies--ecological cities--on Earth and in Outer Space.

The next morning we woke up, dried out the tent and other camping equipment in the morning sun before exploring a hiking trail. What a joy it was to see the birds in the forest and the small creatures running around the mountain tops. I am fasting for the mountains, for Gaia, for planetary love.



North Korean chose the 4th of July to launch its test missile across the ocean. I knew that nuclear war is closer than ever. The threat of total annihilation has been with us my entire lifetime. I strongly believe that if the US was to radically embrace Solartopia, that is an energy program based on renewable energies, we could end not only the war in Iraq, but the nuclear arms race.

July 5th

Returning from the mountain, we found that we had left the refrigerator opened by mistake. Most of our food had been ruined. So, the first thing we did was to empty the refrigerator. It must have been 50 dollars of food wasted. But, it was also a sign that I should continue to fast.

I went to the Code Pink Troops Home Fast website and keyed in who is fasting in Tucson to get that information. Nancy Hill was the coordinator for Tucson. Her email address was available so I contacted her. I asked her if there were others in Tucson doing extended fasts and if so would any of them like to take the fast with me in a public place. Before going to bed, I received an answer from her that she would get in contact with others in Tucson to see if we could arrange a press conference with the fasters in front of either the McCain or Kyle office.

Wayne was busy at the computer doing research into M Gandhi’s writings on fasting. We found it interesting that in one of his letter to George Joseph, April 12, 1924, he wrote, “You cannot fast against tyrant, for it will be as a piece of violence done to him. You invite penalty from him for disobedience of his orders, but you cannot inflict on yourself penalties when he refuses to punish and renders it impossible for you to disobey his orders so as to compel infliction of penalty.” He continues, “Fasting can only be resorted to against a lover, not to extort rights but to reform him, as when a son fasts for a parent who drinks. My fast at Bombay, and then at Bardoli, was of that character. I fasted to reform those who loved me. But I will not fast to reform, say, General Dyer who not only does not love me, but who regards himself as my enemy. Am I quite clear?”

After reading Gandhi, I went back to the Code Pink web site to read again their reason for fasting. The goals of their fast are as follows: The withdrawal of all U.S. from Iraq; No permanent bases in Iraq; A commitment to fund a massive reconstruction effort but with funds going to Iraqi, not U.S., contractors.

Gandhi’s writings on fasting are somewhat in a different spirit than the Code Pink demands. It doesn’t mean that Code Pink is wrong and that Gandhi had the correct spirit on fasting. All fasting is different and experimental. You don’t know what will happen when you start a fast. Maybe I was fasting not only for the goals of Code Pink to end the war, but also in the spirit of Gandhi to reform the people who I love who are unwittingly harming me. What I mean by this is that I’ve been an instrument of peace since the early ‘70s when I started developing a political consciousness.

Since that time I have refined my point of view, articulated a spiritual philosophy, and created a planetary utopian vision. Whether or not this vision ever takes form, it is important for utopian views be discussed in public forums because they bring solutions to problems that think outside of the box of conventional thought. Utopias are highly political. They are the soul of revolutions and religions. But thus far in human history, revolutions and religions haven’t saved us from our demise. This is why we need lovolution because it has the potential to give women the sovereignty needed to develop an entirely new way of life. There is both social and physical architecture involved with manifesting a lovolution.

But to be recognized by my comrades has a thinker has been impossible. Am I really a woman with nothing wise to say? I am doing everything in my power to not believe this is true of my self. I do have an intelligent role to play within the peace movement. The work I have done on Lovolution needs to be heard. So, I am fasting not only to end the war in Iraq, but to be respected as a global citizen with a voice. I’m fasting so that my blog has a chance to become linked on the Troops Home Fast Code Pink website..

Cindy Sheehan’s blog about starving for attention is actually true in my case. I’m starving for recognition, that the work I do counts. Before I started the fast, I was feeling depressed because of this lack of love for my art. It was killing me inside that I feel that I have a piece of the world peace, inner peace puzzle but no place to deliver it to the public.

I wish I could say that I am fasting to reform the people who love me, but without a place for my words to be heard, they don’t have a chance to work miracles. According to Gandhi, he fasted to reform people who loved him. Not being able to deliver my words to the peace movement, my words can’t become loved. Babies die without love and so do artists, especially utopian artists!

I see the peace movement as a giant growing web of different minds who have achieve some kind of recognition and role within the noosphere. The noosphere is a word coined by Teilhard de Chardin. He said it is the thinking layer of Earth. Like the biosphere which is the region or layer of the Earth occupied by living organisms, the noosphere is the layer occupied by the mind. It is continually developing into more complex spiritual and mental patterns. According to Barbara Marx Hubbard, the noosphere is evolving into a superorganism that includes “social structures, ethical systems, and technological extensions created by humanity.” Unable to break into the mass media or even the left-wing Internet media, I live outside the electronic web. Now I am screaming to be link in or I might starve to death!

For Gandhi fasting wasn’t about changing political policy. It was about reforming people within his movement who he thought had made a mistake. Its not that I think the peace movement has made a mistake. I simply see that the peace movement isn’t complete. The vision of what needs to happen for a global transformation to save us from nuclear holocaust and global environmental collapse is holistic. It is a whole systems approach to global problem solving.

Taking on one issue at a time will not work. Part of the reason for this lack of holistic thought is that the network web has been excluding important voices that merit attention. You say that you are for non-violence, but to ignore someone is an act of violence. So, in the spirit of Gandhi, I’m fasting to reform my comrades and praying to the Great Goddess of love that they will see the part I play before it is too late to save this voice of peace.

July 6th 2006

I’ve been waiting for Nancy Hill to call me. She is the local coordinator for Code Pink in Tucson. She is on vacation she said for a few weeks, so maybe the Code Pink fast isn’t in the forefront of her mind the way it is on mind on the forth day of the fast.

Taking a break from writing this blog, I checked my email. Traprock Peace Center sent a new newsletter. The big news is that Cindy Sheehan is expanding Camp Casey into Camp Democracy to be held in Washington DC the month of September. It gave contact information. So, I went to their web site and filled out a form to hold a Lovolution workshop and a Gaia Flag ritual on the Mall. How much I would love to cut a hole through the American flag as an act of lovolution! Please, Goddess, help me find the way to do this! It would give me a great reason for staying alive.

July 7th, 2006

No word from Nancy Hill. I checked on the Code Pink web site and there is no where I can find the emails of people who are fasting in Tucson. It looks like I am alone in this fast. If I want to take it public, I’m going to have to do it myself. Nancy suggested I take the fast in front of Senator McCain or Senator Kyle’s office. But I can’t relate to those men at all. I want to take it to the people. In front of the downtown library might be a good place. Now to make a sign, write up a press release, and write up a short flier on why I am fasting for peace.